“The mind is like tofu. It tastes like whatever you marinate it in.” – Sylvia Boorstein
Don’t you think this is nothing but the truth? I have a tendency to marinate the tofu(my mind) in negative thoughts leading me to feel low about myself by comparing myself to others. I spend my days guessing how perfect someone else’s life is. And this is a cycle. Once you start contemplating, you cannot stop. One way or another over thinking, builds up negative emotions, thoughts or creates problems that never truly were there. It is very difficult to get rid of these inhibiting thoughts; moreover, these have a tendency to grow.
Yesterday, while returning from work I saw a picture of my friends. They were looking absolutely gorgeous. They are, a few of those people who specifically intimidate me and thus, unknowingly I get lost in the pond of negativity, feeling lesser than I actually am. All the way home I was thinking about it. Finally, when I had enough, I told myself, “What if they have a perfect figure with all the amazing clothes in the world?” (Ok! Yes, I am jealous) “So what if they are doing better in their career than me, right now?”
Instead, I need to be asking myself; has my life has stopped? Don’t I have a passion for moving forward or making things right?
Am I not ambitious? Am I not working out to remain fit? (Not to mention those amazing clothes that are available only in small size!)
Then why do I need to fret? Why am I spending every moment in jealousy and trapping my mind with negativity?
If my mind is a tofu, then, I am going to marinate it in the best sauce available and that which is prepared with positivity and perseverance. I’m sure that will make a very healthy diet.
I love it when sometimes people tell me that they find my posts inspiring. This is strange because when I start writing a post I do not mean it to be that way. The post was solely a means to express myself. But I know that the struggles for everyone are as real as they are for me. So, when a few people are able to connect with it that makes me content.
As a reader, I love posts that I can relate to and novels that have a happy ending. In life, we might or might not have a happy ending. A novel with a happy end gives people hope. Hope for a better tomorrow. I am obsessed with the future and in the process; I don’t work hard in the present. I am living in a present where I constantly compare myself to others and trying to be better than others. Isn’t the whole purpose of living to be better than we were yesterday?
I am desperate to bring my life on the right track, to finally learn to love myself yet I am not working on it.
I am taking a few resolutions for now, which I will share as soon as I complete them because I rarely complete something I start. I still have too much to share here. Does this mean that along the way my life and my feelings would become an open book? Maybe, these daily posts would transform me into a human being I have yearned to become for long now.
Today was a good day. How was yours? 🙂
How are you doing?
I know I am late in starting this daily diary like activity but better late than never. Right? So, how did your weekend go?
I had a pretty boring time. I was in my room the entire time, making no noise, pretending I don’t exist. (I hope Potterheads get this!) And why you may ask. Because I have been waiting for a long time for a day like this. A day about me! I should tell you, it was pretty depressing, though. I ended up crying over my ridiculous self. I am always struggling with low self-esteem. I end up being paranoid about my future or intimidated by others. This happens on normal days too so can you imagine the amount of overthinking I might have done on a lonely off. Today, however, was a total waste of a day.
I end the day in the hope that I shall write and post every day. I do write crazy stuff in my diary every day. (mostly inappropriate for everybody but me). And I might finally go to the gym. It has been a week since I gave an advance for a 3-month membership. The entire week I’ve been a no show! Tomorrow is going to be a new day and hopefully with a better and a positive me.
Since I am the laziest person I know and well, basically everybody around me knows. I have devised a counterplan. I am going to go old school, just like in ‘The Perfect Man’. Yea! For all of you who are judging me right now, I love that movie.
So, I will write about my day or week, however, short the post may be, to give you a little insight into my life.And will be peeking into yours too, through your blogs. 🙂
Let’s start with a hello!
Hi, I am Niyati. I belong to India. I aspire to become an author or an editor someday. I started blogging in January because we had to do it as a part of a class assignment for a course I was taking. But, I love it here.
Now that you have found me, you shall see that I am quite irregular. I am trying really hard to focus. Like, really hard. And particularly about not being lazy.
Well, I love writing. But I often wonder if I am creative at all. Have you read amazing novels and stories which you know came straight from the mysteriously amazing author’s mind to paper. I am not that. I really have to think quite hard to devise a plot. Once I started the blog, I had thought I would write about travel too. And that my friend, I am definitely going to do. When I get up from my bed,that is. Now, I think of writing for fashion at times with those pretty clothes and amazing pictures. But then again, I don’t have a very good dressing sense. So, maybe I will just spend my life in awe of those incredible fashion bloggers out there.
Anyway, this was just a tiny introduction to what might be coming up, every day or every week.
Have a great week ahead.
Clueless Birdie has just crossed 100 followers, and I couldn’t be happier!
When I started this journey, I doubted myself that even a dozen would like to read what I write. But now, a whooping 100! ♥
Thank you everyone for your support! I have not been writing for my blog for a long time. But, that dosen’t mean I have not been writing at all. I have started working as a content writer for a fashion blog. I am writing for something I had always thought was not my thing, Fashion! But, I really do love everything about work.
Moreover, there has been a big obstacle I have been facing for a long time now. No matter how much I try to jump over it, it never goes away. It keeps me sad most of the days. I will share it with you when I am finally able to overcome it.
From now on, I am aiming to work very hard for Clueless Birdie and post as often as I can. I hope I am able to do it, keeping aside the fact, that I am very, very lazy.
I still have to work on a few incomplete tasks, like The Kindness Challenge.
Greetings to all my fellow bloggers.
Thank you, All of you are making this journey really special for me.
I know I am pretty late in posting my response for Week 1 of Kindness Challenge, but I had a few overwhelming days in which the roller coaster of my emotions had been on a downward slide, and it sucks!
My week started off as usual, with me whining about stuff I don’t have. By stuff, I don’t mean the materialistic goods, but a peaceful and a positive mind, but instead of trying to mend my ways I am still whining about it, so you see what I mean!
According to Joyce Meyer,
‘You cannot have a positive life, and a negative mind’ which is exactly what I am doing; a negative mind is trying to have a positive life.
At the end of the week, I am so glad I moved to Delhi and if I hadn’t done so I would have taken a big wrong decision (I will tell you someday, It is funny) which I would have regretted the rest of my life. Back home, I was trapped in my negative mind that I am absolutely useless.
I realized something really important about myself, that I am easily impressed (it is like I have a mob mentality; fickle-minded). It is so easy for me to sway from the wrong path but it is when I walk a few steps ahead that I realize that it is not for me.
Realizing this was important, because now, I have been trying to be critical of what might be impressing me at first glance, be it a person, a certain kind of life, a job, a career.
I am even trying to figure out what is important to me, what actually makes me happy.
Honestly, right now I am very scared of what will happen next, if I will be able to achieve anything in life or not, but I have started accepting myself for who I am, for the mistakes I make, or have made. Things have been really messy but I am trying to clear that mess. And yes, I have been angry with God for long now, for my own incapability to do anything. I guess, it is time to say hello!
PS: I am really lucky, I have a great Mom.
My first attempt at writing a 100 words story,
Clad in her favourite yellow sari, she went in to the kitchen to make tea for her in-laws. She smiled, remembering how in the morning Rehan had pulled her sari and had not let her go.
The priests had declared her unlucky for him . She was ‘Manglik’*, they said. Despite his family’s objections they got married, a month ago. His parents though hesitant at first had eventually accepted her to their family.
Everything was perfect.Or so it seemed. Until she lit the burner.
Her mother-in-law continued reading her book and turned a deaf ear to the screams that engulfed the kitchen along with the flames.
*Manglik-In India, being Manglik has been considered as some kind of curse, especially for brides.
This day, four years ago, she’d had a wedding to attend, hers. She had woken up that morning, eyes marked with reminiscence of the past and hopes for the future. It was an arranged marriage and she had only met him twice. Though her parents never forced her with their choice, she had chosen Vivian at first glance. He had looked smart, dashing in his blue crisp shirt and black trousers on their first meet. Her heart had skipped a beat and naïve as she was then, his calm and polite demeanour were enough to make her fall in love with him. She’d probably fallen for his charm and handsome appearance. ‘My husband would be the envy of my friends’ eyes’, she had thought.
Her eyes had gleamed with happiness when she saw him standing at the altar. “They have never seen a more handsome couple,” the guests said. But the next day of their marriage when she stood in front of the mirror and saw her reflection, her heart sank; his last night’s touch lingered on her body with the bruises he had caused her that morning. Continue reading
Last month was a difficult one, mentally, as I had a few exams. Just before my last exam I came across The Richness of a simple life, it is a very beautiful and inspiring blog.(I highly recommend you to visit the blog) I saw that the author of the blog, Niki, is holding a challenge in May, The kindness challenge and I saved a note on my phone to come back to it once my exams end and I did. Even though everyday I see my fellow bloggers taking up different challenges, I was worried if I will be able to complete the challenge I take up. When I saw this challenge I wanted to try it because the theme is itself so wonderful, Kindness (I just hope I complete all the posts of this challenge on time).
Kindness is the most important thing we have left in this world where most people are constantly trying to bring the other person down.
Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”
-Barbara de Angelis
I encourage you all to join us in this challenge. Together, Lets make a little difference in the world in our own little way. I am so glad to be a part of it.