I know I am pretty late in posting my response for Week 1 of Kindness Challenge, but I had a few overwhelming days in which the roller coaster of my emotions had been on a downward slide, and it sucks!
My week started off as usual, with me whining about stuff I don’t have. By stuff, I don’t mean the materialistic goods, but a peaceful and a positive mind, but instead of trying to mend my ways I am still whining about it, so you see what I mean!
According to Joyce Meyer,
‘You cannot have a positive life, and a negative mind’ which is exactly what I am doing; a negative mind is trying to have a positive life.
At the end of the week, I am so glad I moved to Delhi and if I hadn’t done so I would have taken a big wrong decision (I will tell you someday, It is funny) which I would have regretted the rest of my life. Back home, I was trapped in my negative mind that I am absolutely useless.
I realized something really important about myself, that I am easily impressed (it is like I have a mob mentality; fickle-minded). It is so easy for me to sway from the wrong path but it is when I walk a few steps ahead that I realize that it is not for me.
Realizing this was important, because now, I have been trying to be critical of what might be impressing me at first glance, be it a person, a certain kind of life, a job, a career.
I am even trying to figure out what is important to me, what actually makes me happy.
Honestly, right now I am very scared of what will happen next, if I will be able to achieve anything in life or not, but I have started accepting myself for who I am, for the mistakes I make, or have made. Things have been really messy but I am trying to clear that mess. And yes, I have been angry with God for long now, for my own incapability to do anything. I guess, it is time to say hello!
PS: I am really lucky, I have a great Mom.